me: *comes out of the ocean after 100 years*

you: did you just come out of the ocean after 100 years? hey did this guy just come out of the ocean after 100 years? he looks really good. you look really good dude congratulations

me: ^_^


Our Husky Stark seemed a little overheated after his walk this morning, so we decided to tried something out. We regret it now because it is next to impossible to get him to come out


yes im athletic. I drank gatorade once


this is what i just picked up from the grocery store. it cost $32. Thirty. two. dollars. for 1 pineapple, 2 bags of grapes, a small container of raspberries, 1 soft drink and 2/$1 nuts…. 

do you know how much junk food i could have for $32? do you have any clue how much McDonald’s you can get for $32?

stop shaming fat people poorer than you or people poorer than you in general for not eating healthier. stop lying about how cheap it is or how it’s comparable to fast food. just stop.


my brain: there is literaly a 0 percent chance the fictional shit from creepy games will show up irl in your kitchen

me: but its dark and scary


text BATS to 8888-BATS to be surrounded by soft & friendly bats


me: does something





i want the next meme to be grainy, out-of-focus pictures of what seem to be richard dawkins spotted inside a church